guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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