Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
