That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
