So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
