I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
