Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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