It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
