We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
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