Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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