Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
