I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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