i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
