wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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