WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
