this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
