imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
