what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Even the bartender felt bad for me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
