dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
