Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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