i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
