Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
