I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
