Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You're like the curious george of whores
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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