no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
