so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
