yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize