So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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