I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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