I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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