The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
