how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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