Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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