just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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