theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I need to calm my uterus...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
