Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
