I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
