we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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