i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
