Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
