I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
