You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
