yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
sick fucks of a feather flock together
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
