and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
