It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
