Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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