You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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