Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
