The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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