Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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