I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
