Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
