i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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