Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
