He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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