I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
