after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
