help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
