Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
