fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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