As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
