Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Oh god it's open bar.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
